Voicing My Opinion - Choices and Regrets

I was at a picnic for a volunteering program. 

We sat a rectangular table merged from eight school desks in middle school. There were about fifteen of us: mostly grandparents and two volunteers like myself. The grandparents expressed their gratitude to us for teaching them English (I volunteer at a Chinese school). 

I wanted to say that I was inspired and motivated by them too. 

But their conversation was too fluid. There were no pauses where I could easily join the conversation. I did not want to interrupt their thoughts. I hesitated to speak. Chances passed. In the end, I never spoke what I wanted to express. I never thanked them for their dedication in going out of their way to come to class and learn. 

Image by Daniel Chodusov

That is not all. 

There are countless times where I wanted to express myself but didn't. Many of them I do not remember, but some I do. When I think about it, I feel a bit irritated. If I spoke out then, I would not bear "regrets" to this day. 

It cuts back. 

I consider myself a critic. There are a lot of things I do not like. There are a lot of things I criticize. I am a realist. I want to remind people of the "grim" reality. "Your vision is very difficult to achieve." "We cannot do that in time." 

I don't want to make the reality seem worse than it is. I just want people to know that some things are a lot harder to achieve than people would expect. Yet, I often become labeled as a pessimist. I often come across more negative than intended. 

Image by Erich Ferdinand

It is a balance. 

I like to say that a lot. Everything is relative. If I voice my opinion all the time, then my opinions will have a diminishing impact (law of diminishing returns). If I voice my opinion all the time, perhaps my audience will grow bored of me; perhaps, they will think of me as a complainer who does not act. Of course, it does not hold true for everything. 

A compromise. 

If something seems positive, then say it. The world is better off with more positivity. If something is negative, then consider it. Is it pressing enough that the truth should be reviled at the cost of crushing moods?

However, if something is misunderstood, wrong, unjust, speak out against it!