Thought Diary - Upside Down Snow Globe

Doubts prevent us from succeeding before we even try.  We ask ourselves: It is worth it? Will we succeed? Should I continue to do it?  Most of the time, we simply dismiss opportunities as "too hard and not worth the effort." It is true. Often times, opportunities are not as easy as they seem. Recently, cryptocurrency prices skyrocketed. It seems easy to make a fortune from cryptocurrencies, but there is always the doubt. Will the currency suddenly crash? Will you actually invest your hard earned life savings in cryptocurrency?  Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash The Uncertainty Barrier Barriers are concepts or actions that are hard to breach. The chance of winning the lottery is so insignificant that it might as well be zero, but people still buy the lottery because the initiation cost is low. You only need a few dollars to play the lottery to get a "chance" to win it all.  Cryptocurrencies are another matter. Even if you invest a few do...

It has been a year, Probably the most eventful year of my life. Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash I will begin with a quote unsplash. I love these quotes. I collected them throughout this year.You may find them inspiring too! But we are always searching for truth…. That is constant. - Kurisu Can we really ignore our existence or our purpose? Not for long. We always look for meaning, truth, or whatever you call it. We, humans, may appear different and have different beliefs, but in the end, we are always searching. Doubt ourselves, lose our way, but never stop walking. - Gin We don't always know what is the right thing to do. We don't always know what to do with our lives, and that is ok. Without doubts, we will never be open about ourselves. Without constant thinking, we will never learn and grow. Time will never stop. Change will never stop. We also need to never stop, walking, changing, thinking, doing.  Struggle valiantly through life while waiting f...

2017 Prime. Odd. Sums up to 10/10.   Jokes Aside.  Let's recap my life this year. January I remember my Junior year of high school. Reading 10 pages of history book every day and taking a page of notes to prepare for pop quizzes. In Calculus, we also started learning series and conditions for convergence and divergence. Hard times.  3/10 February Fencing season ended. We took pictures of seniors under a balloon archway. My record was pretty negative. I have a win/loss ratio of less than 0.5. I also remember volunteering to keep a door closed at the Chinese New Year party. I started preparing for Moody's Mega Math Challenge, 14 hours of using math to predict sea-level in the next 50 years.  5/10 March More notes. AP Economics. History. Calculus. Taylor series.... We had a big history commercial project. I planned out an elaborate commercial, but the plot was ruined by a group of boys' propensity of adding stupid things. Also, I lase...

Truth hurts.  Don't we all know that? Truth hurts, because it is not how we want it to be. We want lots of things, but most of those things will not happen. That is why truth hurts. We do not want to fail. We do not want to be reminded that we are not that awesome.  Photo by Christian Nielsen on Unsplash. Expectations.  One of our greatest cognitive ability is the ability to simulate and experiment. I can imagine someone's reaction to certain actions, such as a poke. Most people would turn around to find out what is poking them. We can predict this because we have seen it hundreds of times ourselves. We learn from history, and history binds us. No.  History is a part of us.  Without the past, we would not be who we are. Without learning and seeing all the intricacies of life, we would be lost in this complex world. Without practicing tasks over and over again, we would not be able to do anything efficiently. History is similar to experience. The...

I tried to kill it, but I couldn't.  In order to prepare for my rejection letter to a certain undergrad university on the west coast, I tried to convince myself that I will get rejected to dampen the despair when I get the real rejection letter. However, no matter how hard I tried, I just could not put away the thin ray of hope for acceptance.  Immortal,  Hope is immortal. No matter what happens, we will always yearn for something we do not have, whether it be material or mental. Even when we deprive ourselves of hope, even when we empty our minds, can we really put away the tingly sensation that flutters around like a butterfly in the back of our minds? Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash. but insubstantial.  While we cannot kill hope, hope doesn't really have any real impact on our three-dimensional life. They are mere butterflies, after all. Even if hope fly to us heads on, we will barely be able to feel its impact. If we try to catch hope, we wil...

Darker spark.  Such irony. Yet true.  I started this blog from one single metaphor, a spark, and that is the upside down snow globe metaphor : life without action is boring, but we can make it exciting by taking initiative and turning life upside down, much like how we turn a snow globe upside down.  Conflict.  The world is relative. Success is sweetest for those who fail. Money is sweetest for those who do not have enough. Romance is sweetest for those who do not have romance... Without stress, there would be no relaxation. Without struggle, there would be no achievement. Without war, there would be no peace Art from Fate/Stay Unlimited Blade Works Wait. What? Can there be peace without war? Humans always fought each other for one thing or another, verbally or physically. It is only natural to fight when we all are unique and have differing opinions. Peace is learning to live in harmony despite differences and friction.  The Upside Down...

This morning I went through a few journal entries I wrote four years ago. I have to say that my interest level was not that high; I would rate it a 6/10. So I wonder: why do I write journals, or why do I write blog posts here?  Art by ajak60 . Reason.  A few days ago I read a personal improvement blog article along the lines of how 99% of people fight over mediocrity  because not everyone is willing to take risks and go for the top. Ultimately, the blog focuses on the path to become extraordinary and more productive....  I suppose a blog can be an inspirational and insightful blog. I wrote a post centering solely around productivity and advertised it on Reddit ( Block Life - Productivity Experiment ). To this date, that post outranks all of my other posts on this blog.  I considered making my blog like that, but there is a big difference between writing for myself and writing for others. While writing a blog for views, shares, and customers,...

Static friction > kinetic friction It is well known that pushing a stationary object into motion requires more force than accelerating an object already in motion. This concept, unfortunately, also applies to life.  It is much harder to start and commit to actions that require us to get out of our beds and do stuff. Sometimes, the weather is too hot, and I feel like shutting down. Other times, the weather is too cold, and I feel like huddling in my blanket. Sometimes I am too full, and I feel like walking around aimlessly. Anything besides what I am supposed to do. Art from Made in Abyss. It gets worse.  Don't think that once you get started you will be fine. On the contrary, you will be constantly harassed with the thorns of laziness: "Take a break now. Rest. Have fun...." There is no end to resistance. Days pass without me getting anything done.  Vision.  Vision is perhaps the force that propels. It is far more fragile than resistance. Re...

Cold.  I mentioned how I love a chilly night. Well, today is cold, bone shattering cold. In the morning when I was typing, my wrist started to hurt. Right now, I am typing beneath two layers of clothing, one light down jacket and one polyester base layer. I am rather puffy.  Brilliant Sky - picture from my Pixel 2. Mars.  Somehow walking outside today gave me the feeling of walking in space. I mean I have a puffy jacket that is kind of like a spacesuit, and the cold wind feels fitting for the Mars environment. The streets are also devoid of visible animated life forms.  When I was outside, I started thinking about the words that they repeated at Boy Scouts: "You can live 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, and 3 weeks without food." I always disagreed with it. You can probably live a week without food, but three weeks? That is pushing it a little. But three hours without shelter? I also wondered what that means. It p...

"Winning feels unreal." I am sure it does. The sudden rush of excitement is not a daily occurrence. If you have never felt it before, how can it be real? While this may seem logical, the converse seems extremely depressing.  Failure is real.  In fact, the pain is even more real. Could this be because we experience failure much more often than success? Could this be because we feel pain much more often than euphoria?  Faker crying. I can't say I disagree. Winning is rare. If we are talking about being the best, only one person, one team can be the best. And failure is everything else, everything other than the best. Sure, people's definition of failure may vary, but the relationship is true. Success is rare and therefore feels unreal. Failure is common and therefore feels real.  Down into despair.  A world like that is dark, very dark, and fireflies are the only light that people chase after: the light of victory. Most people do not reach it;...

I like the night.  I have already written a post about it: Night Sky is Never Dark - Beauty in Darkness. However, I still want to write more about my favorite time of the day.  Art by dandragneel . Busy Daylight.  Daytime is the time when everyone goes to school or work and does stuff. I think after staying indoors for many years (at school and at home) my body has become a vampire. I do not particularly like the sunlight anymore. Often it is too intense and blinds me.  However, I do appreciate day moments when the temperature is slightly chill, the sun is not at its full brightness, and clouds are decorating a brilliant blue sky. Yes! I would love to lay on a slightly sloped field of grass and enjoy the beauty of nature. Unfortunately, that is not every day.  More so than ever, there are cars, buildings, noises around us that distract us. When day comes, the world becomes a beehive. People are rushing everywhere ceaselessly and making ...

When someone asked me what's my favorite book I casually went to two series: One, Eragon  by Christopher Paolini; two, The Magicians  by Lev Grossman. I like both books for a similar reason: they veer from the usual fantasy quest leading to a surreal romantic relationship. I remember the ending of Eragon when Eragon and Arya share their true names (that is probably the most romantic part in the book along with Eragon's purple mental picture creation of Arya). In the end, fate separated them. The bittersweet ending just tugs at my heartstrings.  Art by xLocky . Bittersweet to absolutely bitter.  The Magicians, on the other hand, is brutally realistic. Sure, there are magic, word jumping, and crazy stuff, but the "jerk-ness" of people is very realistic.  The scene that got to me the most is when Alice said nothing will satisfy Quentin, not even the magical land of Fillory.  This reminds me of how we always think achievements wil...

I look up at the night sky.  I see lights: stars, moon, and planes. The sky is not as dark as it seems. After a while, my eyes adjust to the night and allows me to see more light within darkness. Paired with cool wind of the night, night gives an awe-inspiring feeling.  Art from 5cm/s. I take out my smartphone to snap a picture.  Utter darkness. My smartphone sees no light. It is blind to the stars. It is blind to hope. Now this reminds of the rift between us humans and technology. Technology can almost do all the things a human can do with complex neural networks and machine learning; it can drive a car! However, technology still falters behind in the field of "experience."  Computer can see, but only through a camera. And while tweaking ISO and aperture can produce great pictures, it does not really convey the whole experience of feeling all the senses at once.  Life is beautiful.  The experience of feeling cold air around us when our...

Shinzou wo Sasageyo  Offer your hearts. There are many different lifestyles in this world. There are people who live it safe, follow the direction of the society, become successful, and enjoy their lives. There are other people who live on the edge, compete, and achieve fame through winning. The majority takes a path in between, but end up somewhere less than they wanted.  Art by An Amundsen. Risk.  Specialization is a risk. When we only focus on one thing and try to become the best, we are taking a big risk. Out of all the people in the world, there is only one best. Especially in games, Go, sports.... The matter of losing a world class competition may very well be the mentality on competition date.  Think about it. Years of training. Years of practice. And only hours to decide who is the best. Only hours to reach for the dreams. The best will be remembered. And the rest will not.  Now imagine defeat. Imagine coming very close to w...